Monday

We're going to see the pediatric cardiologist in a matter of minutes. Here's where I get all manner of superstitious. Am I wearing the right...whatever? Did I say whatever I was supposed to that will make this all magically okay? Did I pay enough attention to this whole situation, or should I have done more somehow? Is there ANYTHING I could do or could have done before right now to ensure that you are healthy, safe, and capable of starting your life as the wriggling, crying, perfect little bundle of human we've wanted you to be?

The waiting has been torture. I've been pretty much shut down all weekend, and today was basically a force of repression and adrenaline. We'll know within the next few hours at least some of what's up, most hopefully that we can just go ahead with everything planned as normal, but at least hopefully that everything will end up okay. A coworker told me something today that is going to be my new mantra from here on out: the universe will not give me anything I can't handle.