Saturday, June 4, 2011

It's not a hiatus, it's just the end of the school year.

Good lord. Is there any way to make the last month of a middle school year any easier? I have a few ideas, but most of them would get me fired...or kicked out of my apartment...or possibly any case, the last month of school for seventh graders and their teachers goes a little something like this:

Teacher: "Good morning, guys! Let's do something ridiculously fun and easy, okay?"
Student #1: "-grunts-"
Student #2: "Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? It's almost suuuuumerrrrrrr."
Student #3: "DidyouseewhatIjustdidinthehallwayitwasSOOOOOfunnyOMGIamlikesohypertoday!"
Teacher: "Uhm, like I said, this is going to be ridiculously fun and easy. I know it's all we can handle, and it's nothing crazy, so just bear with me, okay?"
Student #4: "Can I tell you about what my cat did last night?"
Teacher: "Maybe after class, but for now..."
Student #4: "My cat is SO FUNNY..."
Student #1: "-grunts- Can I go to the bathroom?"
Teacher: "Uhm, sure, just..."
Student #2: "Awwwwwwww! Why does HE get to go to the bathrooooom? I wanted to goooooo."
Teacher: "You CAN go, just sign out and..."
Student #3: "Isawthisguyinthehallandhewasgoingtothebathroombuthedidn'thaveapassandyoushouldcalltheoffice!"
Student #4: "When my cat goes to the bathroom, it's SO FUNNY!"
Teacher: *collapses in a pile of disappointment, overwhelm, and resignation*

This is how I spend six hours of my days right now. It's like the third week of May magically released some catalytic gas that just shorted out the fuses in every kid's brain, and they are just-barely-working machines whose only functions are to whine, ramble, consume sugar, share irrelevant personal stories, and glare judgmentally when asked to do anything else.

Suffice to say, I've needed to take a break from blogging. I'll start to be back as soon as the madness starts to slow down, although the week after school ends is our wedding (holy crap), so it might be a weensy bit longer than that. I'll be back ASAP, I promise!

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